Thursday, May 19, 2005
the pain is killing me!
yes, that dreaded shoulder ache is back with a vengeance. not only is it striking in my left shoulder, it has shifted base to the top of my spine and spreading out to both shoulders. so im practically half-paralyzed now. typing at the speed of potassium hydroxide's IQ growth. she is so irritating, gets on my tits all the time, stupid old woman.
was sort of depressed in school just now. i must have scared siti, the poor girl. sorry lah! had no idea what took over me. sometimes you all should reflect, because consider yourselves lucky. nothing much to worry about, maybe exams at the most. i don't know if i should be thankful for having this experience.
does it make me more mature? does it make me more able to handle situations in the near future? does it help me cope with life and death, and maybe what's after that? does it help me cope with reality? it's like i'm in some fucking fairy tale. it's so real, it's UNreal. and it's so sad, it hurts like fuck.
maybe this is what's causing my shoulder ache. hmm.
no, im not breaking up with him. and no, im not pregnant either. i'd actually rather much be pregnant than to go through this shit.
apologies to mas, faris and g for having to put up with me just now. thanks for your concern anyway. thanks to siti for being there. thanks to azizi for making me laugh. i swear, he is the funniest ass on earth. well, they sure helped, but it doesn't change anything.
kinder bueno and good music helps alot. saved me from turning psychotic after wallowing in my own misery. im being so selfish. im making people worried. this should only be between the two of us. but just now, it just changed everything. things are so much more different. because under all the happiness im just so sad it's breaking my heart.
siak ah berjiwang sial aku.
k lah. that's all. night.
funkadelic @ 5:03 AM
|pimpin it up|