Sunday, June 05, 2005
Oh My God.
And we didn't even think we would get anywhere near third!
We did not get third, but we got second! Unbelievable. Is this some surreal shit or what?
Okay, so yesterday morning, I read athena's sms and found out we had to report at NYC at 1. I thought there was extra paint left over or something and she wanted us to bring them home. Something like that.
So we went, and being the only girls, we sat somewhere in a corner, near the construction site. We waited for about half an hour, started to get bored, then this guy went up on stage, said a few things. We thought it was a rehearsal or something.
Then this guy went up, and I heard "third prize" which was what we were counting on winning so we thought all hope was lost. Then Spray/Two George went up for what we thought was the second prize. The damn construction lah! Couldn't hear a single thing the guy was saying.
Then Newa, who was sitting across from me, started pointing at us and then to the stage, and then I heard "Aerosoul SG" and everything started to get really confusing. I went up the stage, all gabra and everything, and asking " What did we win? What did we win???"
Trase was like, " Second prize you morons."
Okay so he didn't really say that but I bet that was what he was thinking anyway.
I was so dazed I forgot to shake Elim Chew's hand, and was I supposed to shake Trase's hand too? I don't know. I'm so sorry!
Then we went down, back to our seats.
I was grinning like some spastic fool and my hand was shaking and I felt like crying and slapping myself because it felt so UNREAL.
I don't deserve this, I really don't.
What is this man??? Two fifteen-year-olds, girls some more, won second prize?? What the shit????
I'm still in shock.
We got interviewed by CNA after that. I didn't know what was coming out of my mouth. Was saying some crap about why it is such a big deal for girls to graff and things like that.
But then again, thinking back, why is it such a big deal anyway?
It shouldn't be our gender that's helping us make it big, it should be all about the art. I don't want to be a novelty, I want to be a staple. So fine, it's a big hooha over the girls because they are the only girls taking part blah blah but when everything settles down, people still look at our art.
I don't care if I'm a girl doing graffiti, I can be lesbian and still do graffiti, it doesn't matter!
Not that it's a bad thing to be a girl, NO it's never a bad thing to be a girl.
Anyway.
Indulged in retail therapy to calm myself down. Bought myself a playboy wallet! Actually payed a deposit of 5 bucks first, and I'm collecting it next sunday. Next sunday we'll be getting our prize at the arts fest closing ceremony. Then bought myself a plain white hp strap.
I love shopping.
In spite of all the happiness....
I got an sms that brought me crashing straight down to Earth. It's so ironic, that a day can be filled with both joy and misery. I was so happy, then I was still happy, but sad too.
I guess God wanted me not to be too happy.
It's just so sad lah. Spent the night crying myself to sleep.
If you are wondering what the hell is wrong with me, it's nothing. Really. Actually, it is something, but I can't tell anyone, not even my closest friends. So please don't bother asking. I'm sorry for keeping secrets, but you will know when the time comes.
Sometimes I feel so old, because things like these are happening in my life. Then I feel so young and helpless, because I can't do anything to change the situation.
I better stop before I start crying again.
funkadelic @ 8:09 PM
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