Sunday, August 14, 2005
Mum: When are you coming home?
Me: Soon.
Mum: Where are you now?
Me: On the way back.
Mum: Nak potong cake adik lah. [ translation: Want to cut little brother's cake lah. ]
Me: Oh! Okay. Tadi buat sets kejap lah. [ translation: We did sets for a bit just now lah. ]
Mum: Hah? Aper? Buat sex? [ translation: What? Have sex? ]
Me: MA?? WHAT???
Mum: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Me: Tak senonoh lah mak aku ni. [ My mother is so sick. ]
The entire exchange above is pure non-fiction. I swear.
My mother ah. Tsk tsk. Seriously. And she laughed! No wait she didn't. She CACKLED.
You know my vow about eating minimal? Well, I'm going to take it to the extremes and FAST tomorrow. Actually, for the whole of next week. If I don't lose at least 3 kg, I will turn anorexic.
If I don't die from hunger before that lah.
I have no idea how I'm going to survive because I get SO hungry in school. I get so hungry I could eat a whole elephant. But to eat an elephant is to be an elephant. Therefore I shall... fuck the elephant. As in, not literally fuck the thing, but as in I ain't going to touch food.
You sick people, think of sex only ah?
But I don't blame you, especially when sex appears on the news like, everyday? This morning alone, there were three headlines with the word Sex on ONE page in The New Paper.
I think The New Paper is kind of trashy. It IS a tabloid after all, grammatical errors notwithstanding.
OH OH OH BEP concert on 20th September!!!
Who cares if Fergie can't sing live for nuts?
Don't take the mickey out of BEP fans' excitement because WE DON'T CARE even if you say it with your best milk-curdling sneer. HUH. It's on a Tuesday night. Last year's concert was also on a Tuesday night. Hmm. Feng shui maybe?
But I thought Fergie sounded fine. During the last concert. Hmmm.
Nothing much to blog about actually.
funkadelic @ 5:07 AM
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